Every time she moved. the most hostile I had ever felt in my life.

but the grief emptying from me showed that Nicodemus was as close to one as I'd ever had
but the grief emptying from me showed that Nicodemus was as close to one as I'd ever had.I heard awful cries of death farther up the hill. Different from a moment ago. Whatever I had come for-freedom. God did protect us after all. hollow look of men who have seen the worst atrocities and somehow lived. God will watch over me.Somehow they knew. Wave after wave of frontal attacks only increased the death toll. I wished Nico were here. whores. threadbare.In spite of our being totally outnumbered. tell me. cheered in every town we passed.Stumbling on a ledge. Where was Sophie?Norcross dismounted and the others did the same. A peddler with a cart was considered an event here. of such chilling proportion that we thought we had entered a valley of demons. hundreds of tall towers. your labor now depleted by a third?Georges's eyes darted about.I WAS FREE. it seemed. Then our dispirited army headed farther south. Eight massive warhorses thundered across the bridge into the center of town. Yet all I could do was laugh. Professor. I had no fealty to this priest. I held my shield as they ripped into us.

THAT TERRIBLE AFTERNOON changed my life. But then he was overwhelmed. It would be my friend when I crossed the mountains again. into the craggy mountains of Serbia-each step slow and treacherous. his rush was intercepted by Robert. But soon we understood it was not embarrassment but the weight of Guillaume's armor that was preventing him from pulling himself up.I wanted to take something from the church with me. gripping the sheer stone as huge rocks crashed around us.THE FEW SURVIVORS HUDDLED AROUND fires that night. stuffing anything of value into their filthy robes. These savages had chopped to pieces the last shred of humanity for me in all this hell. Hugh. God wills thismurder ?I HAD NO SOONER STEPPED INSIDE the dark.What profound images filled my mind as I tensed. the Tafur had said. Mouse called to me.But every summit we surmounted brought the sight of a new peak. Georges said. You are free!EVEN IN VEILLE DU PERE. For a while. I'd have been dead myself. Bloody corpses were scattered everywhere. Hugh. Only last week did you not have two sons?My son Matt has gone to Vaucluse. I didn't know if he would speak or strike. And holy relics desecrated. I would return both sweet smellingand free!Then the knights and nobles rallied us. Sophie. I said to myself.

We'll throw in two bushels of carrots!I was about to go on-a joke. we'll both fall. Nico warned. Freedom from all servitude upon your return. The lucky among us were slain where they stood. Alo was gagging and coughing water out of his lungs. glinting through the haze. but the Turk's stroke was so strong it knocked me backward over the dead priest. Who knows? I smiled.. It seemed as if our whole army was being slaughtered.We soon came to a wide clearing between mountains. I whispered. It was all that kept him from plunging to his death. At ten!I had spent my youth traveling with a band of itinerant goliards.But then I felt Sophie's hand pressing on mine.I stopped her.. It's me. the farther away I felt from anything I knew. No reason to make one less. curved swords. I leaned over the dead Turk. In the open. She handed half to me. or offal.Just then. Even us. at the entrance.

from burying the dead. The boy was heartbroken. Whatever I had come for-freedom. brandishing a long blade. Eight massive warhorses thundered across the bridge into the center of town. you lazy louts.Now I was free. they ripped a bronze bracelet from her wrist and bludgeoned her lifeless. I took it down and stuffed it into my pouch. I vowed to carry it with me wherever I went for the rest of my life.A gasp escaped from those on shore. think of how our lives could change. Well.It was a slaughter.The party of horsemen pulled to a stop in the square.I called her my princess. It was broken only by Aim?e's whimpers as she emerged weak-kneed from the mill. We know. Jean the smith.It was built on a sharp rise.She stopped and smiled at my plain flax tunic and calfskin vest..A cabbage. I felt sure I would soon die too. women.But the old Greek was too slow and laden with gear to get out of the way.. They charged our ranks as if on a holy mission. but I wasn't going there.

. Eight massive warhorses thundered across the bridge into the center of town. many from the ranks called out loudly. A few straggly horsemen.I heard awful cries of death farther up the hill. shoot from the crowd. You'd better go. I said. I saw knights wearing the purple-and-white colors of Baldwin of Treille.' He empties his pockets excitedly. In Antioch. or the little hermit will take all the spoils.From out of the trees.THE WORD SPREAD like fire from battalion to battalion.I will never forget that deafeningwhoosh. many thousand strong. And.It was only with Sophie that I felt truly free. And I saw that Baldwin will never free you from your pledge. for a moment out of harm's way. but as we climbed. choking Alo go under one more time. He spent many hours on the march teaching it to me. then let it be. I knew he would be able to interpret it. Mayhem was still rampant in the streets. I was a different man. I looked around. I could deal with the harshness of laws and taxes and the wrath of our lord.

I'll save you a spot. That night. People were running into the square. The smallest hope flashed through me: maybe I could whack it across his ankles. was of treasure and glory.Yet nothing so far could prepare us for the hell we were about to face. one of the nobles in charge. Peter's we signed up for. A trace of a thin. You are no soldier. knocking him off his post and flush against the wall just as a sulfurous black wave engulfed his ram-mates. keeping up with his shuffling stride. spilling over with defenders in white robes and bright blue turbans at every post. Professor. every twitch of her nose.. transfixed by the awful corpses of the Turks.On the outskirts. to leave her this way. but the Turk intercepted me with a vicious kick. We pulled back two miles. A trace of a thin.. And there was something that I missed from those days.Press on. and said. Guillaume turned around and waved. I stood paralyzed. She handed half to me.

Here. Arrows and spears followed them. This time.The massive Turk. Then he toppled onto his wife. I wanted freedom for Sophie and the children we would have one day.. right? taunted Mouse. sucking in precious food.Assault upon assault. Anything might happen.All along we were told that Peter's army was months ahead of us. it's summer. Children ran out and danced around the approaching monk.At the same time. the priest said. A left at the next ridge and we should seeRome.The lead Tafur delivered one more blow to the bloody mound. you say. and blackened with grime and enemy blood? Would she still laugh at my jokes and tease me for my innocence after what I had seen and known? If I brought her a sunflower. but the mule bucked again and stumbled. rumors reached us of Christians inside the city being tortured and raped. I noticed her peeking at a rehearsal. My body lit with her warmth. Father? Is this what you expect from the Pope's protection? He lowered the wheel again and the small boy disappeared. limbs cut off and piled like wood. expecting to see my legs separated from my torso. Foot soldiers were hurling their lances up at the defenders. All I could think to utter was.

Consider your tax raised. It would have beenme in that pool of blood that was leaking across the stones. Robert said as we marched... which attested not so much to their religious fervor as to their urge to inflict pain. I was about to say.. If one of our illustrious leaders hears you. they ripped a bronze bracelet from her wrist and bludgeoned her lifeless. It was impossible to tell a red cross from a pool of blood.And we did hurry. our ranks shredded. facing another sign.. eager to share in the spoils. Pay them back!I had to leave. and gruesome gasps escaped from their wretched mouths.I was going to die. heads charred and roasted. the terrified Alo cried. watching me go off. next right. perhaps sixty yards wide.I stared in horror at her bloody shape. They swept down on our fleeing troops and hacked them where they stood. the water was still no higher than the horse's ankles. God will reward you. But it seemed strong.

I began to laugh. A volley of arrows shot back from the towers in return.Robert !THE ATTACKER HURTLED into Robert and swung his sword with both hands. all that I held true and good. They've gone ahead to Antioch. And Robert too. This madness just wouldn't stop!On the steps of the altar. and outlaws hoisting their sacks and makeshift weapons.In that instant I saw my helplessness. but to kill these curs. sticking their heads into houses as if they owned them.Finally.Nico . all at once. A volley of arrows shot back from the towers in return. I couldn't hold back the truth from her.Our bodies cried. giving the appearance that we were headed for a raid elsewhere. yet they barely dented the massive walls. keeping up with his shuffling stride. Do we finally get to pay them back?Sharpen that knife. as Sophie and I lay in bed. in full armor astride his large charger. It was a slaughter. then he delved through the Turk's robes. I muttered.Robert bolted ahead. I am sure. I knew any moment could be my last.

I know not exactly what went through my mind as. I saw the first ram approach the main gate. I instructed him.I wanted to lash at the church with my sword. turbaned and cloaked in robes..I couldn't believe my good luck. freedom. I thought there was a brothel. I picked up a few Turkish arrow- and spearheads that I knew would be worth much back home. went up to greet him. Though I wanted to weep for my fallen friends. Men screamed and toppled over.. as nearby as Avignon. On the fate of your soul. Idid see. All the cattle and oxen had been butchered; even the dogs had been eaten. Those that stopped to attend to them were engulfed in the same boiling liquid themselves..at me. Hugh. I lunged after it. like nothing I had ever seen before.I went back to the priest. It was a host of lies. for a moment out of harm's way. Their temples. transfixed by the awful corpses of the Turks.

A dark-skinned Saracen whirred by. I will come!I saw Matt. God did protect us after all. Paul the carter told me. From above. then he nodded. Water was as scarce as wine. A golden cross. dozens of turbaned riders flashing long.I would never see Jerusalem in this lifetime. Carts. I saw a horseman hurtling directly toward us at full speed.Sophie. Tafurs. I muttered. Now he was gone and I was here. Raymond and Baldwin are aligned. I protested.I called her my princess. Are you taking notes?The raucous laughter continued for a time as we waited for the knight to emerge. the hooting ceased.The Bosporus. Are you ready to give up?Then I burst out laughing once again. Foot soldiers were hurling their lances up at the defenders. Do your duty .There is the one about the convent and the whorehouse. Then he toppled forward. Norman. he said.

When Alo broke the surface. I watched as many a loyal soul. tearing at their sizzling faces and eyes. Marie. But the forays were met with such fierce resistance from the walls that they became graveyards for our bravest men.And though they fell in love at that first sight. some of them just boys. to ask God for the forgiveness of my sins. Robert claimed to be sixteen. I muttered Sophie's name as if in prayer.The boy's back was turned. They were marked by a cross burned into their necks. They swept toward us like hunters chasing a hare. a mixture of ardor and tears.A trumpet sounded the call to arms.hundreds of them . How far away she seemed right now.. another survivor recounted. Our division captain ordered us to follow.It was all lies. I squawked about like a chicken.There was a shriek. We had no siege engines to break such walls. Robert said as we marched. I winked. I didn't know if he would speak or strike. alwaysnear.His sword still quivered menacingly over my head.

but I was blocked by the Turk. All signs that Peter's army had been through. I could mark them only by the sores oozing on my feet. and the most precious relics in all of Christendom. It would be my friend when I crossed the mountains again.' the abbess replies. Don't look so sad.Each year when we returned.. it's not just God who watches over you.mapmakers. A golden cross.Finally. The irony was bursting through my sides. the boy's face was bloated and wide-eyed. and juggling for the crowds.TWO DAYS LATER.soldiers. Six thousand. Alo was gagging and coughing water out of his lungs. searching for archers or pitch. I did not care about Antioch.. charged at me with a scream. From my vest pocket I took out a small sunflower. In the open. these Tafurs fought like possessed devils. I noticed a glimmer coming from under a rock. Alo went under.

He blinked at me.Only twice before had I heard the bells sounded at midday in the four years since I had come to live in this town. sucking in precious food. the trails began to widen. it's the worst equipped.The higher we got. bakers. then he delved through the Turk's robes. From that moment on. toward the mill.. You better tell him.It was the greatest multitude I had ever seen! Jammed along the narrow road into town. daylight darkened. and were left. We were at a run. something told me I could no longer live like this.He took a look at his assailants.Suddenly. but the grief emptying from me showed that Nicodemus was as close to one as I'd ever had. all at once. The talk. Spare this man. and Nicodemus trying to settle it. ? It could not be! My mind flashed back to the cheerful faces and joyous voices of the hermit's army as it marched through Veille du P?re. a Moslem warrior would hurl some urn down from the towers and it would shatter on the ground. or where.. wielding the dagger that was still covered with the priest's blood.

two miles. I didn't know if he would speak or strike.No. We'd touched souls. Our pace quickened. Many felt the nobles had themselves a meal at Robert's expense. I reached for the priest's wooden staff. madness boiled out of control. `Please.She nodded. I lunged.Please .The higher we got. Guillaume's mount seemed to stumble.. had to be dragged single file up the steep way.Never mind. March. You could die. either pierced or rolling on the ground trying to smother the flames on their bodies. and I leaped upon him. He went and cupped the face of the cowering boy in his massive hand. clattering to the ground.All along we were told that Peter's army was months ahead of us. I will carry his expression with me for the rest of my life. watching me go off.. You smell it. I remarked to Robert.

as if my ferocity could bring back my friend.. and his shoulder fell away from his body as the massive blade lodged deep in his chest. A slide of rock and gravel hurtled down at us. This empty block of stone was what we had come to set free. his reputation as a seer suffered. the lower our spirits fell. We continued to climb. marching through Veille du P?re!Butwhat an army! More of a rabble.Somehow they knew. he said. I clenched my fist. Th-the thing is.Attack !Our army charged. either pierced or rolling on the ground trying to smother the flames on their bodies.If it's martyrs you're looking for.Constantinople. Alo went under.The pagan is a coward.Mocking us was more like it. almost dumbfounded. our liege lord's chatelain. I had lashed myself to a goat and placed my trust in its measured step to pull me farther on. Mother of God. I could no more hold him off than I could a tornado.We spotted red crosses painted everywhere. He charged at me once more. We'd touched souls..

Its frightened eyes showed that the animal was aware of the danger.Our bodies cried. Nicodemus glanced at me. a fiery-eyed Turk.Then the procession started up again. pushed east to seize the Turkish fortress at Xerigordon. I was only a breath away from death and yet instead of panic and fear. who shrugged with a thin smile. That whatever God had in store for us. burning.Up ahead.. And you too.And who areyou . but his face was still as boyish and smooth as when he had first joined our ranks. Who will come. Hugh. men and women; some carrying axes and mallets and old swords. whose name I did not even know. on a holy crusade that I never really believed in. raped. but they fell halfway up the walls and in return brought volleys of spears and Greek fire. only to be surrounded and chopped to bits. barefoot. Behind me. suddenly..I searched my mind for something to say in his tongue. and said.

An image of my own death rose in my mind. to Toulouse. Norcross's sword jangled as he made his way to the frightened miller. Except me. carrot-top? The glowering knight turned. We were heading down. Every house in the village had been burned or sacked. were each manned with archers. It almost seemed funny to me: this.As we fled.. chillingly steep and dry of all life. And higher up. This is Veille du P?re?It must be. jongleurs. but I wasn't going there. Along the way. She would never know how I died. like a jig. tearing at their sizzling faces and eyes. Or the miller's wife. Today. I did my best to try to cheer other men up.Raymond ordered the army to break camp. they run like grandmothers. wasn't it? Or. When he was on the ground. The ranks of farmers. I heard voices.

The other assailant rose and faced me..Arrows and stones and burning pitch rained down on us from all directions.I watched them with a yearning I thought had long been put behind me. I felt sure I would soon die too. he shouted to Raymond. not once but twice. Men lined the shore. It looked like bronze. the lower our spirits fell. insisted that the scouts and maps suggested a point to the south.All around me. whose I did not know. Stalls and markets were crammed with the most exotic goods. Professor. tired mules and plow horses. then pointed east.I was right. madness boiled out of control.Hugh. Hugh.. I saw that Civetot was smoking like burning cinders. as if my ferocity could bring back my friend. There would always be another Norcross. rumors reached us of Christians inside the city being tortured and raped. Every race was represented. leaving the wheel aloft and Alo's lifeless body suspended high. but as we got closer.

. The streets ran ankle deep with blood. God will be at your side. Professor. of relics and glory; the innocent of finally proving their worth.And who areyou . she said. The traveler goes in and is greeted by another comely nun. Robert squinted into the sun. Though I had seen many men fall. but we needed water badly. barefoot. Then. he boasted. neatly fitting it back into a whole.Ibn Kan. The holiest treasures of our faith. You better tell him. they run like grandmothers.I missed being free. Then-eerie silence. but this time I charged full force toward the assault. Yet all I could do was laugh. I said to Robert.In the doorway of the inn.Freedom . I had simply made him smile. molten pitch. was of treasure and glory.

Are you ready. And my legs stung from the spray of molten pitch. either cheering or laughing at his attempt to show off in front of royalty.. hastily putting on his boots. which fell all the way down her back.thirty. but each step. with the help of a cohort. It was all that kept him from plunging to his death. No reason to make one less. Once-proud knights trudged humbly.So. We split up our forces. And higher up.At first. insisted that the scouts and maps suggested a point to the south. not some trumped-up duke or king in crested mail and armor sitting imperiously atop a massive charger.in the light of the moon's pure cheer. I finally prayed.I stood. I stripped it from my chest. threadbare. sounding almost disappointed.I saw disaster looming.I stared in horror at her bloody shape.. my lord. I held her and stroked her hair.

Under the shield of darkness.He had just uttered these words when another turbaned warrior charged toward him.Every couple of days. chillingly steep and dry of all life. who could crush iron in his hands. Then she held her half out and we touched the jagged edges together.. a vain smile visible under his mustache. Cries of Death to the pagans andDei leveult .Father. many from the ranks called out loudly. A few straggly horsemen. Nicodemus said grimly. like the water.Norcross seemed delighted. She came back a moment later with her treasured comb.Sophie and I watched as the column began to cross the stone bridge on the outskirts of our town. I put the priest's staff to the ground and took a step-the other way. dropping them as they ran. taking the Cross.Let us go. and then a shout. to ask God for the forgiveness of my sins.Let us go. What's left of us. someone commented. who had sneaked into our ranks one day as we passed through Apt. fortune-all that left me as if it had never been there. They threw both into the middle of the square.

I am finally free. our burden had seemed bearable. There was a feeling that the worst was over. their white tunics ablaze. Children ran out and danced around the approaching monk. the Spaniard Mouse remarked.. All I could do was scream. We said good-bye to Constantinople. A ways back on that last ridge.At intervals. Then I hoisted Robert into the air. It seemed to stretch out forever. Panic clutched at my heart. And people of no stench. don't worry. From behind. but in his full battle gear and on unsteady footing he couldn't hold the mount..I will never forget that deafeningwhoosh. the water was still no higher than the horse's ankles. confused. Word has reached him that a rabble passed through here a day ago. It was all that kept him from plunging to his death. Brothel.A dark-skinned Saracen whirred by. What little water we carried we consumed like drunken fools..There's one more thing.

Sophie sat up. One false step would mean a grisly death. Norcross gathered his knights. He exhaled a final breath. he and the goose were great companions to us. missing me by the width of a blade. A good-sized river. And I had protected him.Professor .Where you're headed. A left at the next ridge and we should seeRome. Another yelping rider bore directly into our ranks as if bent on self-murder.The giant man hesitated..Please. What little water we carried we consumed like drunken fools.. Please. my legs seemed ready to comply. my lord. was a million miles away. swelling in song. but in his full battle gear and on unsteady footing he couldn't hold the mount. their chargers snorting heavily. red-eyed demon that. burning.His sword still quivered menacingly over my head. Yet I was dying for this cause anyway. it seemed.

I reached and wiped a glistening tear from her eye.I don't know..And the people. so lacking in all provision. I dreamed about Sophie every night. pulling along the animal behind it to which it was tied.. inside the mill. Other soldiers who had reached the rocks crossed themselves.Up ahead. I've come to carve the Turks. I begged. Hugh? What could be more important than what we've just shared?I swallowed..You are right . The peril of the climb was broken by a few welcome laughs. the Pope's protection is worthless. Narrow passes. Nerves?The boy shook his head.Under the shield of darkness.I bring greetings from your lord. I rolled my eyes. Sophie.I didn't believe. I had fought bravely. The Pope's protection. if my lord wants. horsemen at their tails.

I drew my sword.I had to get out of here. their skin dark with blood and filth. You are no soldier. But it seemed strong. Even my mother's mother could cross here.What is it? Robert asked. I heard Sophie scream. good and bad.Loud. People were running into the square. who shrugged with a thin smile. This is Veille du P?re?It must be.you are here for God's work . the nobles urged. I remarked to Robert.For the first time. He exhaled a final breath. I'll be back. Who bathed and smelled of perfume. burning. Another knight galloped into the water and waded out to the spot. and streets paved with polished stone.Robert !THE ATTACKER HURTLED into Robert and swung his sword with both hands. but never had I seen a place like this! Gold was like tin here. He went and cupped the face of the cowering boy in his massive hand. Blood spurted from their faces. Hugh? What could be more important than what we've just shared?I swallowed. Men simply dropped as they marched.

I wanted not just to fight for my own gain. Others. the traveler hurries through the door. A detachment.I finally caught sight of Sophie. Soon they were battering again at the gate. Hundreds of men were gathered there. But most of all. the Spaniard Mouse remarked. Sophie. a teasing rhyme:A maiden met a wandering manIn the light of the moon's pure cheer.But just as the man's spear was inches from my throat. Norman. for those who put aside their earthly possessions and join our Crusade. his head rolling away from him.Then I knelt beside Robert.. a bit reluctantly. Free!I started to laugh once more. Once. but they fell halfway up the walls and in return brought volleys of spears and Greek fire. What was I doing here? What had I become?I went over to the fallen priest. The pious among us dreamed of their holy mission; the nobles.I am called Peter the Hermit. they ripped a bronze bracelet from her wrist and bludgeoned her lifeless. tired mules and plow horses. You must let go. This madness just wouldn't stop!On the steps of the altar.We focused on the eastern wall.

Whatkind of God inspired such horror? Was this God's fault? Or man's?Something snapped in me. He exhaled a final breath. Can't it wait.I pressed Robert up against the wall. He grinned. It would have beenme in that pool of blood that was leaking across the stones.It was a love that was born for tears. and then a shout. Now. A sea of body parts.As we entered the town there were corpses everywhere. Larger and more formidable than any castle I had ever seen back home. Please. Freedom from all servitude upon your return.. it caused a terrible reaction. from burying the dead. Then he merely winked at me. Brigit Convent. but everyone shouted him down.. yelping mad cries that I recognized asAllahu Akbar. grumbling about what the hell was going on. landing on what would have been his face. I could not hold it back. We pounced on him and hacked him bloody.As Norcross passed the miller's cowering daughter. I sang in the quietest voice before I slept each night. Eight massive warhorses thundered across the bridge into the center of town.

It took everything I had not to leap on the Tafurs myself.Such a city I had never seen before in all my life. Bloody corpses were scattered everywhere. Hugh. but there was little to find amusing. fell away from me. A chance to change my destiny in a single stroke. went up to greet him.The sun became a raging.I was heading home to Sophie.They were not rocks at all-but skulls. curved swords. I was sure. the bones of saints.I will never forget that deafeningwhoosh. lightweight cottons and silks. I reached for the priest's wooden staff. glistening eyes. not some trumped-up duke or king in crested mail and armor sitting imperiously atop a massive charger. Robert cackled. I was sure. Bloody corpses were scattered everywhere.It was late summer when we finally came out of the mountains. I squinted through the trees and felt my jaw drop. I realized we were marching through valleys now. I simply could not hold back.I saw the outline of a smile from her. Every time she moved. the most hostile I had ever felt in my life.