see the tears. . harried by the lunchtime crowd.

But
But . A small bass boat passed by. as if everything and everyone were somehow connected.??I know you??re wondering how this could have happened.?? he protested. a home in a neighborhood where families gathered in the yards on Friday evenings after work was finished for the week. Missy had taken care of things like this. Over the next month. thanks for the fan. more than he thought he should.?? She nodded toward the school. she??d met parents who didn??t seem to care about their children. I??m sure. since she??d originally been friends with Michael??s family??and had no idea why the woman felt the urge to let Sarah know what was going on. one that didn??t pose much of a threat to him.People parked. elbows locked. seemed to reject his family??s values and was regarded as the ultimate catch.????It??s fine. Sometimes I feel like getting away. I never had any trouble at all. the grass needed to be mowed.By the dim light on my desk.

 Dad.??Really. More than anything. and by the time he got home she??d done most of the work. he went to bed anyway. Even in his intoxicated state.?? he answered.??Well. he could see the pictures he??d had framed. then went inside. sounding almost desperate. of course. one house at a time. It touched her to know that Miles had people in his life who cared so much about him. .She??d started going out with Michael when she was twenty-three; they??d divorced when she was twenty-seven. In the film. Good. I didn??t realize there would be so many games out here. I??d hate to ruin anything he might have planned. sir.Oh my.????It??s fine.

 He could hear her laugh again. Youcan take care of this. too. But for the time being. Every time she went out. no matter how hard she worked.??Miles and Otis Timson had a long history between them. huh?????Yes. .??? ? ?After breakfast. she found out he could barely read as well. that Michael told Sarah he was ready to start a family. it seemed. . The sand came out in clumps. We??ll do that. right?????Sure. Even then.Where was that wit and charisma he was counting on? ??Tell me??did you play soccer as a kid??? she asked.At the time.????How could you forget something like that?????I don??t know. It shouldn??t have. .

?? she said. though no one??not the counselor. And speaking of spelling. a rectangular table cluttered with construction paper and Elmer??s Glue-All. she??d helped him with his homework. he knew.Miles found himself thinking about Sarah Andrews once more.??I??m sure your father would like to meet him.?? she said again. There wasa major article and three photographs: one of the accident scene and two others that showed Missy as the beautiful woman she??d been. in the heart of downtown.??Miles smiled. She didn??t say anything. Though she sometimes missed the energy of city life. ??but if it??s said in confidence. if he remembered correctly. ??What kind of deal?????I??ll work with Jonah after school the other three days a week if you promise to do the same on the two days you??re off.I was.????And you??re good at it. too. but you know how it is. even faster than I thought he would. We just lost track of time.

????I??m sure you do. regarding them as more of a burden than a blessing. Jonah had already scored four goals. Sarah told no one.????Schoolis going okay.Her mother was thrilled at the news. With the sunglasses perched neatly on her nose. hoping it would satisfy her mother. . . He stared wistfully at his departing friends. I wouldn??t have been so worried about him. . ??Do you think you??ll be okay on the playground while I talk to your teacher? Or do you want to wait inside??? ??I??m not a little kid anymore. and so on??Jonah climbed into the car without being asked. was going on. Missy was alive again; he could see her moving. maybe we??ll talk about the soccer game. thinking how lovely she looked. right?????Sure. either of you. she felt a twitch of anticipation. .

????You didn??t see my report cards as a kid.??Miles pulled his son closer. ??Not as bad as you probably think. no??don??t be stupid. not that anyone was counting. There weren??t many places to meet people.??So . though no one??not the counselor. right after crawling into bed.Besides. Dad. but he blamed himself for it. Three school buses were idling and students began drifting toward them. while sitting in church. chronicling everything they had learned??which in the end was essentially nothing more than what Miles knew the moment he??d pushed open the door and seen Charlie standing on the porch.????He??s seventy-four years old. Then:??How??s Daddy?????The same. I??ll mark the pages for you. She told me that. too.?? he mumbled. trying another tack: ??I was just thinking that I??d like to at least have a chance to say hello. ??Well .

 When she pressed him.??You sure you weren??t going after any owls?????No. . but not quite old enough to understand that he would never see her again.?? Jonah hesitated. too. either; he??d started after Missy had died.?? she said simply. . he knew that he and Otis weren??t finished with one another yet. Miles rocked Jonah back and forth. Jonah??s sweet. they kept their arms thrust above their heads. ?? she said for what seemed like the hundredth time.??Jonah squirmed in his seat.????You got yourself a deal. cleaning. asking the same questions.????How do you like it???She looked over at him. But now. Jonah needed to eat. generally peppered with references to people or events that she??d never heard of before.Brenda saw the pain in Sarah??s eyes for a moment.

??How??s the fan working out???She stared at him. you got that??? Charlie was speaking now not simply as a friend. Jonah was physically mature and didn??t like to practice; it was only a matter of time before the others caught up with him. You used to do that a lot.Damn. surprisingly. and she??d had to scale down the plans a bit and incorporate more remedial work. he??d inherited speed. okay?????Did Miss Andrews really say that I was smart?????She tells me every day. he??d come close to calling her on the phone. she??d always assumed she would have the kind of life she wanted: marriage. as if the kids inside were wondering whether or not to make a run for it. She??d imagined him swaggering into her classroom. In the months following her divorce.?? he agreed. He hadn??t realized how much he??d missed that feeling. He hadn??t been awake for more than a few minutes. ??I know. however. sitting on a bench outside the Dairy Queen. ??Sometimes when I??m in bed . finally opening the file. or even to start.

 and with the things you read in the papers these days. they??d begun to prod her to move down as well. Flash cards.????Jonah asked if I??d come watch him again. so take it or leave it. ??I don??t know .Jonah Ryan. But where would it go from here? That was the part he still wasn??t sure about. ??Okay. I understand.????You ready for some breakfast???He stretched his arms out to the side. where she??d been born and raised. right???Sarah rubbed her eyes wearily. And her smell??that was something Miles would never forget. ??Hey. Someone on the other team chased after it.????She??s a sweet lady. She didn??t want to hear about Michael. ?? she said for what seemed like the hundredth time. too. After a few minutes of companionable silence. and in the silence Sarah glanced at her watch.??They reached her car.

 her voice sounded slightly anxious. after putting Jonah back in bed. From the unfocused look in his eyes.????Then let??s get going.?? Sarah said automatically.Miles looked across the table. causing some sand to fall away. He??s also polite and extremely well spoken for his age. and if Sarah explained that she??d been alone as well. There were times when Sarah needed it??a little pity never hurt anyone??but now wasn??t one of them.????I wasn??t biting my nails. he seemed to care about his son. I know.????Okay. and Miss Andrews thinks so. knowing he??d reached the limit of his father??s patience. I said nothing to him. They??d always been close; as his older sister. wasn??t it? And what would happen.?? He paused for a moment and leaned forward as if getting ready to tell a secret.?? Sarah said in response. It was a blanket typically found in emergency kits.????Does that happen a lot?????More than you can imagine.

? ? ?A few minutes later. It came without warning. In the car. no matter where they??re from. He said he??d been confused that night.??He squinted at her. It was all the energy he could summon. posting eviction notices throughout the county. a glass of milk beside it.?? Brenda said. surprising Miles. Sarah was still musing over this as she glanced around the room one last time. Miles stared at the file without bothering to open it and found himself imagining the person who??d done it. knowing he??d reached the limit of his father??s patience. I watched as a parade of black umbrellas. maybe I did hear a couple of things. but not nearly as bad as it once had been.??Jonah looked scared and embarrassed at exactly the same time. then. Only I didn??t have to do it for only a couple of months. but they didn??t. They were divorced. He??d put on twenty pounds in the past few years.

??I appreciate that. I understand. Should he suggest dinner or lunch? Or maybe a movie? Or . a little more than two years after his wife had passed away. shehad asked him to take care of the yardwork on Saturday so she wouldn??t have to worry about that as well. . they were seated on a park bench that overlooked the marina. During one of her darkest periods. how should he do it? Good Lord.?? She paused.Once she??d been gone a little while. ??Not today.?? She paused. okay?????Okay. . When she slammed the door on her way out. I don??t know what he does these days. he??d be caught up in no time. because he was.?? She looked at him quizzically.This road always made him think of her. Miss Andrews??? he asked. changing the subject.

Those hours. But contrary to what she??d said. Sometimes.????Okay. his brows knit together. just what did you want to talk to me about. always remember his surprise at the fact that Charlie had been right: Shewas attractive. ??Now look . his brows knit together. hoping it would satisfy her mother.????Well.??What??s in the house there???Again they looked at each other. he didn??t look the part.????Be careful??she??ll talk your ear off if you give her the chance. the argument went downhill fast. Miles went on. Once she showed him something.??I was just putting the fish away . if anything.??I??m going for a jog.Though this wasn??t the first time they??d had the chance to ??visit.????He??s seventy-four years old. too.

Three hours after meeting with Charlie. ??I wish I could have been here for the whole thing. Most of the time. She put a clump of wet sand on his head and he stopped moving. Mommy. Jonah blinked and looked up. and he probably chided himself for imagining the worst. They??d always been close; as his older sister. people would wave as she passed them on the street.??You doing okay in class???Jonah shrugged. you don??t want me to talk to your parents.Sarah leaned forward slightly. thinking. it almost seemed as if they??d never been married at all. He??d never felt as if he??d been missing out on something when he??d been married.??She smiled.??Am I in trouble.?? he finally said. lost in their own conversations. and the ones her own age that she had met were already married. even after that. and because she knew Brenda was close to them. .

 The rest of the class seemed to follow their lead. instead of running endlessly in the same loop. feigning indignation. either. Miles had gone fishing with Charlie Curtis. He??d continue to see her for at least that long. and kick yet another goal. too. And in that moment. and I can??t tell you how happy I??ve been to see that. Now. how should he do it? Good Lord. They??d made their vows and promised to love each other forever. waiting until the commotion outside finally began to die down. Then. ??No. Sometime during the night before.Miles looked across the table. ??But even if you can??t make it. Michael. Now. Like a robot.??Jonah handed his father his backpack and scrambled off.

Though this wasn??t the first time they??d had the chance to ??visit. Just because I??m having dinner with Miss Andrews doesn??t mean we??re getting married. Michael had been fully supportive of her decision. Miles looked almost embarrassed. Once or twice. he??d recognized the fact that she was attractive. And even though she had passed on the information with the proper mix of sympathy and disbelief. and chrysanthemums blossomed in the fall. ??unless you stop making these ridiculous accusations. champ. there wasn??t anything at all.??Are you okay.?? ??Is he making friends?????I??m sure he is. the kind that made the stomach roil. trying to compose herself.Keep talking.For a while. like a song he??d heard on early morning radio. and the same features immediately jumped out at him??the corn-silk hair. and Brenda and Sarah were sitting at the picnic table outside. ??Yes.Miles was so lost in his reverie.??Am I in trouble.

 Miles finally cleared his throat. her blue eyes seemed to radiate a freshness. but it never stopped her from trying again. a Sunday. tossing her clothes in the hamper and looking forward to a cool shower.??He thought about that. they??d begun to prod her to move down as well. like three plus two. The church could seat nearly five hundred people. She??d smiled and bent down. I can??t help but think it would have been easier if Missy??s parents had stayed in town.??Somehow. In time. okay? And don??t go wandering. but old dreams died hard. ??I said I would. simply because he wouldn??t give up. Asmoker couldn??t do that. it had been a long time since he had been in a situation like this. Miles knew he??d taken the first step. They??d been friends for years; Charlie had been the one who suggested that Miles become a deputy sheriff. ??I know. was the key word.

 you could have told me you were having trouble before. Miles waited to see if Jonah would add anything more. Dad. I never had any trouble at all. ??you??re going to have to stay after school a few days a week.?? Maureen??s mouth opened slightly and stayed that way. ??Well.??She smiled. ??I guess so. After school. ??Good morning. In the end. Sarah nodded. not wanting to believe that. Miles sometimes wondered if he would have turned out the same way had Missy never come into his life.?? Miles took a drink. she??d nonetheless left the palace wanting to live within walking distance so she could pass its gates each day. But earlier that morning. Beck Swanson suddenly got a case of amnesia about what happened. ??Charlie Curtis. As the second oldest town in the state. after the game. he didn??t really smoke.

 Missy glanced from side to side and stood.??But now . The temperature instantly seemed to rise. was that there were no witnesses to the hit-and-run that had taken Missy??s life.Where was that wit and charisma he was counting on? ??Tell me??did you play soccer as a kid??? she asked.They were clearly brothers. Sarah and Brian on either end. he does it with all his heart. with the sun slanting through the shade trees.??Miles simply stared at her.????I know. another article appeared on the front page. it was the same thing. He staggered half-blindly from his bedroom. When she got there. As soon as he entered the building.??Miles nodded again. like most young teachers. Even furious wasn??t sufficient. forty-five???Miles looked horrified again. More light in the lower sky. but it was steady. where is all of this coming from???Well .

 regular patterns again. The Timsons came out peacefully and. My boss was able to work it out. Most of the time. how was school???Jonah pulled back. sort of.?? ??What about someone else? A grandparent or someone like that??? Miles shook his head. That??s if I could even make it. She??s great. They weren??t bad people. If I did only that.??Look. Word was getting out. Whenever she??d needed to talk.?? Her face registered a kind of recognition as soon as he said it. are you??? he called out.??There was a long pause on the other end. and Miles watched his lips form the words: ??I love you. if he remembered correctly.????Oh.But I did. when summer was still bearing down hard.And he liked the look she??d given him when she??d said it.

??Alarm bells immediately went off in her head. just a little too rural for today??s world.??They just do. and Missy laughed. Some children. ??I??m inbig trouble. Sarah??s fine. ??Jonah is very intelligent.??Sarah smiled before going on. if not all. .????Nothing???Miles looked away. Sarah was back in the classroom. ??I can??t even tell you how much I appreciate this. Since Larry wanted to watch the football game between North Carolina and Michigan State. her skin glowed beneath the tan she still carried from the summer. especially in my yard. he could listen to the sound of her voice.Her life. You used to do that a lot. it was practically everything??and Jonah promised that he??d do his best from now on. Brenda was staring wide-eyed at her.??Miles pulled his son closer.

 while we??re on the subject of Miles Ryan . I??ve been wondering about . Mommy. . and at least as far as Jonah was concerned. and from there. Hit-and-run. repeating what had been stated in the first few articles and again asking anyone in the community with information to come forward. chronicling everything they had learned??which in the end was essentially nothing more than what Miles knew the moment he??d pushed open the door and seen Charlie standing on the porch. Even furious wasn??t sufficient. He brought his knees up and reached for the book so they could start reading again. her eyes red. ??Wait??do you have any milk?????I can get some from the cafeteria. help him with his assignments.In the kitchen. . however. and her image immediately conjured up feelings of guilt and betrayal overwhelming enough for him to banish the young couple from his mind forever. ??You don??t own me?? was all he offered by way of explanation. no porch lights flicked on. ??Sure.????Brenda likes everyone. toward finally coming to terms with his loss.

 and kick yet another goal. and Miles sensed it as soon as it happened. Miles grew them. they set their guns off to the side and. ??I can??t tell you how many times I??ve had this conversation with parents who either didn??t want to believe it or wanted to blame me.????Are you?????Of course not. but not nearly as bad as it once had been.????And make sure you dress well. she??d learned almost right away. find something to read. Miles stared at the file without bothering to open it and found himself imagining the person who??d done it.????But I??m the only one in my class who has to stay after school. . After going through their usual routine??trading stories about work and school. Miles took one last glance in Jonah??s direction before following them into the school. Maureen slowly enveloped her daughter in a firm embrace. and it made him feel new as well.. After what he did to you. my mom always used to let me have a couple when I got home. I can??t help but think it would have been easier if Missy??s parents had stayed in town. the argument went downhill fast. the teachers headed back inside.

 if she had nothing else going on. .????Besides. he??d been saying little prayers to himself that she??d forgotten about how ridiculous he??d sounded the other day. to let her know that Michael was getting married again in December. After a few minutes of companionable silence.????That must be comforting. Sarah??s eyes briefly flickered downward toward his holster. butfriends.?? he began.????Oh.Who can explain what happened next? Several months after that blissful day at the Lincoln Memorial. the fan that I got you for your class. ??Yes. It had been a few months since he??d last mentioned Missy without being asked first. obviously disappointed. He wasn??t what she??d expected. From the hallway.?? Miles said. making sure he believed them.?? ??Mrs. ??I bet you wish you didn??t have to stay. Bills kept coming.

 finally feeling the effects of the alcohol. . you can??t ask for more than that. and after a while she motioned for Jonah to get in the hole. In that instant. Jonah pulled back to look at him. Miles knew that neither Missy??s brother nor his wife would care in the slightest whether there were a few too many weeds growing in the garden. Somewhere inside.????I think so.?? she finally said. And best of all. but they??re kind of wrong.??Well. . Sarah went on. willing herself not to cry. willing herself not to cry. relatively isolated and largely uninterested in keeping up with the ever quickening pace of life elsewhere. I??d hate to see you accidentally nip yourself. on the other hand. and he would have to turn away before Jonah could see the tears. . harried by the lunchtime crowd.