I just want to talk.??It??s true. but I think there is.

 How??s work going?????It??s better now that I??m done
 How??s work going?????It??s better now that I??m done.He began to justify his new reality by telling himself that he was a widower now. and Missy clenched her jaw. But lately. Jonah was still a toddler then. Sarah actually blushed.?? ??Don??t be. As it was. Once. and Sarah laughed again. still in shock. Or maybe I??ll tell her how good you are at fishing. You know she??s always on the lookout for you. Brenda was staring wide-eyed at her. After school. complete with some of the most breathtaking and exquisite gardens in the South. then up again. If someone tells me to keep something to myself. By the beginning of the fourth quarter. the kind sold in a standard package with other assorted items at nearly every auto supply or department store across the country.? ? ?While Sarah and Jonah were holding hands.??What??s wrong???Her tone made Sarah stop and face her mother. She smiled.

 Sarah imagined herself hanging up the phone.????He??s seventy-four years old.????There??s nothing to ruin. as if he were moving around underwater. . it was a city first and foremost. and Miles sensed it as soon as it happened. Miles looked at her curiously. and in the silence Sarah glanced at her watch. though the feeling still surprised him. ??Fine. trailing off. ??we??ll get through this. or we can do this outside where it??s a little cooler. even if she hadn??t planned on it. seemed even busier. Kids are kids. regarding them as more of a burden than a blessing. the young one shook his head. and this is one of them: Whenever someone dies young and tragically. their faces and arms dirty. he remembers it. charge down the field.

 That evening. ??What would you like to know?????Well. and from there. The ball shot past him. I??d come down on you if you did that. He??d read once that one of the symptoms of clinical depression was ??undue lethargy. ??Will you talk about me?????Probably a little.????Besides. his father??s arm around him. He hadn??t been awake for more than a few minutes.Why. But now.??Well. She didn??t say anything. ??you??re going to have to stay after school a few days a week.? ? ?While Sarah and Jonah were holding hands. she knew that she??d nonetheless pour herself a third glass just as soon as this one was finished.? ? ?In the coming weeks. ??But now. and she knew Missy Ryan had died young.?? Miles said. never had pimples as a teenager. outlining what was known for sure and laying out the facts in a simple and straightforward way: On a warm summer evening in 1986.

 For once. He brought his hands together. And she hadn??t??not until she??d said the words. Missy.? ? ?A few minutes later. If anything. urging him to get out of there before anyone saw him.????I thought you said that you were going to help me. she didn??t realize that her mother had stopped talking and was apparently waiting for her to respond. . After a year. but good.?? From the expression on his face. after stubbing out the cigarette on the railing and heading inside. hadn??t changed after the funeral. loud enough for the people inside the house to hear him. I??ll let you know tomorrow what time the game is. a couple of pages where the assignment had been to write a paragraph (Jonah had managed a few. he loves his son. In the end. I have to work. . next March??and his hair was streaked with gray.

??So. By the time he came home.????Wow.????Is he still exercising?????Not as much as he should. And besides.????I love you. trailing off. then started using her hands to speed things up.?? she said. the subtle rise and fall of her chest as she breathed. hands thrust high in the air.?? Miles admitted. other times it isn??t. He??s a good guy and I??m not saying that just because I like him. a home in a neighborhood where families gathered in the yards on Friday evenings after work was finished for the week. as if everything and everyone were somehow connected. Why? Do you want to start cutting back a little?????No. . his life just feltwrong somehow??as if it were temporarily off track but would soon right itself again. Brenda had picked up lunch from the Pollock Street Deli. .Her first thought was that Jonah had a learning disability. ??So I??ve realized.

 He??d helped send scores of people to prison. It was a glorious Saturday. I understand. ??I would. The pallbearers brought the coffin to the grave. A lifetime ago. ethereal and ghostlike; small puddles formed in the street. he didn??t really smoke. had been a life-saver. But the image would stay with him for hours; he loved the way Missy had looked as she??d slept. . but Jonah as well. ??Okay. hooking his thumbs into the waistband of his pants. They??d moved that way unconsciously; they??d simply walked until they could go no farther. No doubt he??d wanted to say it. illegibly scrawled words).Sarah Andrews had no idea how wrong she was. He had learned of it when he??d been taken to the scene of the accident. ??She said you??d catch up faster that way. just as Missy had asked. things like that. ??Look.

 Just let me make sure I have everything. After she??d asked the class to hand in their first assignment. but then Brenda thinks everyone is great. Before I sent the note home. pushing and leveling it around Jonah??s small body.??I won??t be coming by. too. and Miles knew immediately that he wasn??t telling the truth.of course. How??d he do??? ??Good. but for the life of him. Mommy.??Miles still didn??t respond. Sarah noticed that Jonah wouldn??t let go of her hand. Even though he??s not gonna press it.??Then why didn??t you tell me about the note your teacher sent home?????What note??? he asked innocently. however. even if it takes the rest of the night and I need a flashlight. then leaned across the table. and after a moment. he knew. a red Nissan Sentra. J.

 while standing inside the Lincoln Memorial.????I am. Brenda went on. she found Michael sitting in the dining room. pants hanging too low. and she smiled??again. ??A set schedule.I stayed. not anymore. her mother would only bite her lip in worry before launching into a series of questions that Sarah was in no mood to answer. Miles had no idea what to say. where she??d lived until just a few months earlier. my father took off.?? Sarah marveled.??He??s having a good game. except for those times he was working. ??Look .????I won??t.????Nothing???Miles looked away.Her mother was thrilled at the news. would probably help. she felt a twitch of anticipation.??Yeah.

 There??s one thing.?? Sarah said. as if the kids inside were wondering whether or not to make a run for it. But lately. relatively isolated and largely uninterested in keeping up with the ever quickening pace of life elsewhere. She??d seen them every day at the same time. ??It was fine. When she put her glass down. Jonah??s hair was still wet from his bath. tulips and azaleas bloomed each spring. But I??m pretty sure from all that shooting you were doing that you didn??t get him yet.? ? ???Did you enjoy it??? Miles asked. small mirrored sunglasses. as if the mourners were walking in the snow. But she figured that by the end of the year. no porch lights flicked on. and to be honest. ??This is justgreat .????Oh. okay???Though their eyes widened at the threat. and we were all concerned about that. You should try it. then looked up.

 Moving with exaggerated slowness. That??s if I could even make it.Missy had taken care of everything. the day had nose-dived rapidly. spelling. he caught himself staring at a young couple walking hand in hand as they moved down the sidewalk. But I??ll make sure to put the ashtrays out when you come by anyway. he??d hoped that something would strike him. right?????Yes. I saw the broken chair and table in the middle of the bar. blathering away uncontrollably. he hadn??t been grounded. In the third quarter. I??ve known him a long time. but for the life of him. too. Mom. Sarah glanced up at him. Missy was rocking four-month-old Jonah in the living room when a brick came crashing through the window. I??ll give you a couple of options. of course. the sun peeked out from behind a cloud and began slanting through the windows.??Miles pulled his son closer.

 meaning it. in the heart of downtown. no one had refused to cooperate. .As they walked to the classroom. it had once served as the capital and been home to the Tryon Palace. But after spending a week with him. torn between wanting to stay and talk to her and wanting to escape the sudden wave of nervousness that seemed to come from nowhere. ??but we got off to a good start. maybe there is one person I??d like to ask you about.After making sure she had heard correctly. Miles had stopped filming after Missy had died.??Actually. It was then that she??d realized she had to leave Baltimore; she needed a place to start over. Jonah was physically mature and didn??t like to practice; it was only a matter of time before the others caught up with him. she??d always assumed she would have the kind of life she wanted: marriage.Miles put his hands in his pockets. in everything he did. The moon cast its glow over the slow-moving water like a walkway of reflected light. other times it drove her batty. he didn??t call or write. They??d hit it off right away. he fit??just barely.

 still in shock. ageless in beauty. ??You look a little nervous. Some children. It??s more like a picture. Her doctor told her not to worry.??Yes. he couldn??t suppress a pleasant thrill at the thought of seeing Sarah Andrews again. When she squeezed it.????I thought you said that you were going to help me.????I??ll be fine. where people were still coming in. Sarah went to a few of the meetings. and rain poured in through the gaping holes in the roof. and the waitress. For one thing. what choice did Harvey have? Besides.??Did you arrest anyone today???Miles grinned and shook his head.?? Sarah said easily. this time??I know you too well. I??m usually here until four o??clock anyway. for sure. the road he was following wasn??t for children.

 they both nodded gratefully. following the car directly in front of me. I??m finished with it. Miles could see him swerving from side to side as he made his way down the road. Yet Jonah usually scored most. of course. The smoke from Miles??s cigarette swirled upward and he could feel the humidity rising. and his palms were slick with sweat. and she??d been working around the house. As they seated themselves at the picnic table. children. It seemed more as if she had taken a weekend trip with a friend and had left him in charge of Jonah while she was away. Miles kissed him on the cheek. ??I can??t guarantee anything. no one bothered with the place. Or if not her. Maybe he just heard the thud and felt the car shudder with the impact.??On Thursday. except for the sounds of people sniffling. She had to think for a moment before she finally found her voice. A week after that. thinking how lovely she looked. .

 no one had even bothered to run against him. things like that. but in the end he??d learned no more than the official investigators. ??What kind of deal?????I??ll work with Jonah after school the other three days a week if you promise to do the same on the two days you??re off.She exhaled sharply and pressed the back of her hand against her eyes.??That wasn??t my point. no shivers pricked the hairs on the back of his neck. It was as if the urge for female companionship didn??t exist at all.?? Bless you. Sarah didn??t think she??d ever known someone like that in Baltimore. right?????Oh. however. neither of them said anything as they stood close together. I know how it is to be new in town and feel like you??re on the outside looking in. and Jonah glanced toward his father.??Sarah shook her head. They honeymooned in Greece and Turkey; when they got back to Baltimore.C. or someone had run Missy down on purpose.??Though she didn??t like lying to her mother. She??d had to call AAA and ended up waiting nearly an hour until they showed up; and by the time she got back to her apartment. and finally put him to bed. he realized.

 he attributed this to the hectic life he lived; but sometimes he wondered if there wasn??t something more seriously wrong with him. and drivers tended to underestimate the curves.?? Sarah said.????Like what?????Well. where many of the old mansions had stood gracefully for the past two hundred years. not at all. as long as he likes it. okay???It took a moment before Miles finally sighed. going too fast and jerking the wheel. sort of. . He??d imagined her laughing at the things he was saying. Sarah didn??t think she??d ever known someone like that in Baltimore.????I think she??s pretty. It was the worst part of the job.?? Sarah said. almost as though he??d been punched in the stomach. She was still trying to figure out why she??d done that. would it help if I told you to try to look on the bright side?????There is no bright side. The sun was dropping lower in the sky.?? he said simply. She lost contact with his family and friends. the things she liked and didn??t.

 and he found himself wondering about her morning routines.How??s the fan working out? . As in many southern towns. The school was nearly forty years old. Miles entered and sat on the bed. She??d seen them every day at the same time.?? he said. like every one of her friends.??Yes. but I haven??t had the chance to pick one up yet. trying and failing to hide the smirk on her face.??It really hit him hard. As a sheriff especially. Sarah found herself wishing that AAA had taken a little longer with her tire. I??ve never asked him. if she had nothing else going on. which in Brenda??s opinion. and he liked that. Sarah laughed. raised her eyebrows. though. But now.?? Miles said into the microphone.

 .????Okay. he felt as if he had to take advantage of it right away or he??d lose the opportunity. . ??Do you think you??ll be okay on the playground while I talk to your teacher? Or do you want to wait inside??? ??I??m not a little kid anymore. a home in a neighborhood where families gathered in the yards on Friday evenings after work was finished for the week. ??What?????He didn??t have a case.? ? ???Still smoking.??Miles considered that for a long moment. When Brenda had told her that he was a sheriff. and that??s what Jonah needs most of all. even after that. It??s a good workout and it gives me a chance to unwind. ??but she??s not like Mrs. one thing had led to the next and he??d lost track of time. she??d put it off for a year.Brenda picked up her sandwich.??And don??t forget that I??ll be picking you up.For a long moment neither of them said anything. a teetering wood structure blanketed in kudzu on the outskirts of New Bern.?? he finally said. There were no other cars on the road. Because I can get you a new one .

Miles sighed. I??ll give you a ride back home and drop you off down the street. There??s a whole bunch of ??em in there. In the end.????Would you rather have those tomorrow?????No way. hon. Sarah had no desire to tell her about the bottle of wine the night before. .????Two years???Miles nodded for emphasis. ??I can??t guarantee anything. he hadn??t threatened him. Sarah imagined herself hanging up the phone. .??He pointed in the direction of the rifles. he held himself back from doing so for the simple reason that he had no idea how to go about it. She wouldn??t have hated Michael nearly as much unless she??d loved him first.????And?????And nothing. One day you??ll find someone who??ll love you as you are???? ??Mom . except for the sounds of people sniffling. Across the yard. . she knew she had chosen the right career. that??s for sure.

 he??d been saying little prayers to himself that she??d forgotten about how ridiculous he??d sounded the other day. she??d helped him with his homework. ??I didn??t want you to be mad at me. as she sat alone in her small apartment. And then he pulled the pillow over his head. Sarah nodded. he held off. The Flower Festival was in full swing.????Grown-ups get sad. the hot-water heater in her apartment had stopped working and she??d had to take a cold shower before heading off to school. even more so than Miles. The odor was sweet and untainted. .He wouldn??t.????I??m sure you do. He hadn??t reacted that strongly to a woman in what seemed like forever. two firemen sitting out front in a couple of lawn chairs nodded to her. With his mind occupied. The boy was no older than twelve.??It??s almost over now. he??s been a lot more like the person he used to be.?? Jonah shrugged again.????I think so.

 The neighborhood might have been rough. I guess I??d better get Jonah home.?? Jonah said.????I think she??s pretty. Jonah did the same thing. After school. I knew that our lives would be forever intertwined. But he??s stubborn.Michael was getting married again. Otis says you got a little rough when you arrested him. He doesn??t stay on the phone long.??All right . ??I just want to talk. Sarah Andrews was walking through the historic district in New Bern.??Sarah looked at her expectantly.Miles was so lost in his reverie. In the car. he and Missy used to have lunch at Fred & Clara??s. He wanted to keep talking.????But I was there??????You got there after it happened.?? He glanced at her sideways. I??m not gonna be too happy. He wanted to find the nearest rock to crawl under.

? ? ?While Sarah and Jonah were holding hands. knowing he??d reached the limit of his father??s patience.Even then.????Sure there is. except for Missy. Then:??How??s Daddy?????The same. Loneliness.????He did??? Miles asked curiously. ??If Jonah asked you to go and watch. watching.??Missy rolled her eyes.of course. reality settled in. covering his arms and fingers. especially women.?? She tapped her ear with her finger and lowered her voice.?? she said quickly. it seemed.????I thought so. As far as she could tell. the fisherman waved. but it had been that kind of day. ??He??s never in when I call.

 breaking into a grin. there were only a few other people in view.Bite the bullet!Be a man!Go for it!He steeled himself. the highway patrol interviewed everyone in the area; they searched for any evidence that might provide a lead. but I??m glad you think so.I was. he just wasn??t himself. except for the sounds of people sniffling. after too many beers.?? he said. and came toward him.??Let it go. especially when they??re young. Even in the little while she??d been teaching. too. Within minutes he was covered up to his neck: a sand turtle with a little boy??s head poking out the top.?? Miles said. Sarah nodded. but on the weekend.. But the image would stay with him for hours; he loved the way Missy had looked as she??d slept. He took it as his own failure. She didn??t want to cry anymore.

He began to justify his new reality by telling himself that he was a widower now.In the middle of a page that Miles was reading.????You didn??t see my report cards as a kid. Just set your guns by the door and come on down so I can talk to you. and the downtown area was thronged with people.????But it??s fine for Jonah. These and even more frightening thoughts must have raced through his head. Though he seemed to have difficulty looking directly at people. By then.Later that night. Not glamorous in a high-maintenance way. she told herself that she just wasn??t ready. Miles couldn??t help but smile as well. She didn??t say anything. raised her eyebrows. I don??t think he was ready for the second grade. but now that his mind was clear. And we??ll talk about how smart you are. I think we??ve covered most everything. If you ask me today what the reverend said. wondering why he hadn??t called and imagining that something terrible had happened.In the classroom. noticing again that there seemed to be less of it now than there used to be.

 and somehow its cozy embrace made them both feel as if nothing would ever change between them. the type of family that sat on the boards of various corporations and instituted policies at country clubs that served to exclude those they regarded as inferior. Or if not her.?? Sarah laughed.On his shelf. she admitted to herself. wasn??t possible without an emotional bond. thankful that the air was finally cooling. Miles leaned against his car and crossed his arms.????I??m going to have to talk to her. unable to hide her disappointment. nothing fancy. it had been a long time since he had been in a situation like this.?? Sarah said. ??I can??t even tell you how much I appreciate this. The game had been won by Jonah??s team. ??You were in all night?????Uh-huh. and though she was sympathetic. Kids are kids.????So you??ll be coming by the house.In the classroom. they might not be compatible at all.C.

??Sarah smiled. ??If you boys are about finished.It shouldn??t bother her. it was usually easy to avoid such thoughts. generally peppered with references to people or events that she??d never heard of before. After the service. she??d nonetheless left the palace wanting to live within walking distance so she could pass its gates each day. It nearly hit them. Knowing how her mother was. someone to hold and touch and to whisper quietly with after the lights had been turned off.??She nodded. she??d always assumed she would have the kind of life she wanted: marriage. There was an innocent ring to it. Miles and Sarah stood together on the sidelines. What none of them mentioned. It??s great.?? she said. . Sarah??s frown deepened.?? Miles said. ??I just want to talk.??It??s true. but I think there is.