from. A chance to change my destiny in a single stroke.

They passed by me on their way to loot the church
They passed by me on their way to loot the church. only to be overcome by the sheer numbers they faced. we advanced toward the massive walls.As we entered the town there were corpses everywhere. buckling to their knees. I peered into the bastard's black eyes. my love. I saw poor Mouse...It was late summer when we finally came out of the mountains.Such a city I had never seen before in all my life. working around the inn. when a raiding party from our lord's rival in Digne swept through town during the wars. It seemed to stretch out forever. God will reward you. Finding nothing. Different from a moment ago. The rest of us surged ahead. whores. and I leaped upon him. Sophie. or offal. almost dumbfounded. up ahead. I reached for the priest's wooden staff. But Raymond has promised freedom to anyone who joins. I couldn't wait to show it to Sophie! Back home. or even beg for my life.

It would have beenme in that pool of blood that was leaking across the stones. She was pounced on by two marauding Tafurs who tore the clothes from her body and took turns mounting her in the street.. screaming wildly. For whatever the reason.Young Robert. Blood spurted from their faces. I'll save you a spot. looking for something of value. Nicodemus glanced at me.I don't know. Nico. they ripped a bronze bracelet from her wrist and bludgeoned her lifeless. I knew she was trying to be brave. I recognized the knight in charge as Norcross. like an eighth-moon.I called her my princess. If one of our illustrious leaders hears you. yet we trudged on; our hearts and wills. all the young who had so eagerly signed up. All around us. On their huge mounts.I. Then. an old knight said. I grabbed my shield and ran after the boy. He winked. dressed up in ornate robes. people shouted.

I placed the scabbard in my pouch. For the first time. and the rest of us trudged like beaten livestock in the blistering heat and bargained for what little food there was. This empty block of stone was what we had come to set free. Goodness. was next to me in line. raiders. Just like when we were children. hastily putting on his boots. I had sworn in my heart to protect him. Idid see. glinting through the haze. Beside her was the miller's wife.Father.At first I stared in horror. forty.Go where ? There was something in his face. her brave smile as I hopped down the road.Norcross seemed delighted.In front of us a young woman ran out of a burning house.' the abbess replies. Nothing ever happened here!I was struck with a kind of wonderment. schooled in the sciences and languages. He fell from the horse. `Good enough. a vassal of Bohemond.We focused on the eastern wall.. as tall as the highest towers.

. I protested. I pumped out my chest.Frantic shouts rang out. It was only luck to avoid death at any point.Nico. I was sure.All but one. galloped down the line on their crested mounts. stay by me. I heard thewhoosh from a wave of arrows shooting across the sky. I raised myself to my elbows.We gazed at each other with a sigh of relief. the hooting ceased. Norcross's sword jangled as he made his way to the frightened miller. I knew she valued it more than anything in her life. and the rest of us trudged like beaten livestock in the blistering heat and bargained for what little food there was. eager to show our face to the Turks. whatever dream of freedom or wealth had brought me here. if there were any fucking trees. a bit reluctantly.God . In a last effort. but without result.At intervals.Let's go ! the nobles shouted. It was now eighteen months I'd been gone.As this became clear. buckling to their knees.

Today. carrot-top. She had a song for me. my lord.What has happened here? a soldier muttered... their chargers snorting heavily. They're coming! They're almost here!From the east. run dry of provision by the Turks themselves. not some moth-eaten hermit. toward the mill. I did not know where I would go. children. Sophie. These savages had chopped to pieces the last shred of humanity for me in all this hell. some of them just boys.. He smiled as if to say. throw up his hands and hug his mother. and much worse. Once. One year.Why had I ever come to this place? I had walked across Europe to fight for a cause in which I didn't even believe. the impact shaking my entire body. Matt. Nothing ever happened here!I was struck with a kind of wonderment. Nicodemus. And the second.

Hundreds of fortified towers guarded each segment of an outer wall that appeared ten feet thick. A sea of body parts. To tell her I loved her. fell away from me. One day.'Aroused. the loss of my friend weighed greatly upon me.I didn't believe. loud footsteps burst through the outer door. And my legs stung from the spray of molten pitch. Ten of Paris could have fit within its walls.Without my noticing it at first. We were at a run. The holiest treasures of our faith.Robert ran ahead to hurl one of the rocks toward the walls.. She hurried to the table by the hearth. The animal's hind legs spun.I saw disaster looming. softly moaning with pleasure and love.Whatkind of God inspired such horror? Was this God's fault? Or man's?Something snapped in me.Our battalions headed toward the north tower.let the boy up. another charge? Weary and frightened soldiers around me moaned in disbelief. I turned and took a long last look at the inn. then fight for the glory of your liege when called upon. Or the miller's wife. Then we held until close to dawn. then turned to face their charge.

but I stayed behind.The troops along the riverbank burst into laughter.THE TURK'S SWORD hovered over me.Up here. it looks old. stuffing his entrails into his mouth as he died. And I had protected him. I heard thewhoosh from a wave of arrows shooting across the sky. People I had known for years shouted.In the doorway of the inn.It was a scabbard. plopped atop a simple mule.The longer the horrible siege went on. and their daughter.Every couple of days. Hugh. but they fell against the massive walls like harmless sticks. I no longer knew what was inside of me.Those we captured were sometimes handed over to a fearsome group of Frank warriors called Tafurs. our own conquering army spilled in. the column came to a halt. Riches. like an eighth-moon.Hugh . It was a host of lies. He's just a boy. carrot-top. At the stone bridge on the edge of town. Full battle gear.

No. A calm came over me. my fear left me.We focused on the eastern wall. follow me.Your lord asked me to impress upon you.Every instant. She stood there. my lord. From above. and much worse. I heard a struggling. the sun blocked by a hail of arrows. Alo went under.The lead vermin ran the blade of his sword across my chest. glistening eyes. or that I was thinking of her at the end. never once crying out. I felt connected for the first time in my life. I love you more than anything. This time. we advanced toward the massive walls. Sophie. When I see you each day.The pagan is a coward. horses.I placed the scabbard in my pouch.Thisis Peter's army. Brigit.

The Army of the Crusade. She and I had always shared everything. He charged at me once more.Now I was free. Son of Cain.Then I'll scare the infidels off with my bright red hair. I said to myself. not over peaks.I searched my mind for something to say in his tongue.Attack !Our army charged. no longer hatred or even amusement.I will come! I will take the Cross. horrified. hollow look of men who have seen the worst atrocities and somehow lived. Freedom.See.March. I can't wait for my next sunflower. And to God. Men lined the shore. another charge? Weary and frightened soldiers around me moaned in disbelief.I will help the miller increase his tax by a third. transfixed by the awful corpses of the Turks. One by one. Who knows what I might find there? There are tales of riches just for the taking. doing her best not to cry.I threw my pouch over my shoulder and tried to drink in the last sight of her beautiful. I did not know where I would go. Roman ruins and temples.

Our once fledgling troop was now an army forty thousand strong. hooded eyes that flashed only a sliver of light. West.Hugh. I could not hold it back. Now he was gone and I was here..It was the image I carried for the next two years. my sword flew out of my hands. but the mule bucked again and stumbled. I went on.Arrows and stones and burning pitch rained down on us from all directions. and she said that I probably had one in every town. for a moment out of harm's way. I pumped out my chest. Turbaned men rushed into the street and were cut down in bloody messes before they could even raise their swords. quickening peals-echoing through town in the middle of the day. West. I knew any moment could be my last.. pulling along the animal behind it to which it was tied. I shouted. confused. you princesses. and the mood in the ranks brightened with anticipation of what lay ahead. Guillaume. eh? I bowed sarcastically with an exaggerated flourish. No one wanted to delay in our rush to catch up with the army of Peter. They were not wearing crosses but filthy robes.

which attested not so much to their religious fervor as to their urge to inflict pain. I saw it myself. he shouted back. The moreblasphemous the better. or even beg for my life..We had marched across Europe and through the Alps. I reached and wiped a glistening tear from her eye. or even beg for my life.Your buddy's an eager one. clattering to the ground.I just laughed. I had lashed myself to a goat and placed my trust in its measured step to pull me farther on. barely wide enough for a cart and a horse.Dei leveult ! God wills it!My own blood surged. `Sisters of St. I peered into the Turk's eyes. For a few moments..At the same time.By my calculations. You better tell him.I searched his eyes for panic. shit... dozens of turbaned riders flashing long. and the treasures I might find on the Crusade. were being held for ransom.

and a man disappeared over the edge. another charge? Weary and frightened soldiers around me moaned in disbelief. my sword flew out of my hands.First it was the heat. Laughter that had somehow touched the Turk. the Pope's protection is worthless.THE FEW SURVIVORS HUDDLED AROUND fires that night.A moment before. Their haughty faces read. Then.This is your last warning.My Sophie.He stays under out of shame. screaming. priest? He chuckled. but the grief emptying from me showed that Nicodemus was as close to one as I'd ever had. a teasing rhyme:A maiden met a wandering manIn the light of the moon's pure cheer. But instead of attacking Moslem horsemen streaking out. all I saw in my path was the wise Greek's face. You are at risk. A sea of white tunics and red crosses. There was nothing more to say. It could be anybody. The smallest hope flashed through me: maybe I could whack it across his ankles. whores. It was a rough. still eyes. It would be my friend when I crossed the mountains again. Are the mapmakers taking notes?I never knew that a peacock would so take to water.

.Then Norcross's face split into an amused smile. Jagged mountains appeared in our path. Robert seemed assured. The Army of the Crusade.. To see Sophie once more. mock waving. Hugh. Aim?e. I felt like a man who had just claimed the richest dowry. Free!I started to laugh once more. Blood spurted from their faces. Maybe the language of the Jews. but they fell against the massive walls like harmless sticks. From my vest pocket I took out a small sunflower. daylight darkened.The longer the horrible siege went on. Everyone was shouting. right? taunted Mouse. barely wide enough for a cart and a horse. but the Turk intercepted me with a vicious kick. I'll be back before you know it. No great loss.Heaven's army. grumbling about what the hell was going on. for some kind of dagger...

It looked like bronze. I bent down to pick up the shiny object and could not believe it. I will carry his expression with me for the rest of my life. my companion. This empty block of stone was what we had come to set free. so we decided to enter the town. or close my eyes. And I. side by side. piercing the Turk with my sword. then let it be. Cries of Death to the pagans andDei leveult . throw up his hands and hug his mother. Now. then let it be. Six thousand. Hugh. I told him. I was about to say. just as one of the attackers thrust a dagger into the belly of the priest.Like us. And the second.She moved with me in perfect rhythm. ran to get their possessions. It sheared through his neck as if it were a weak limb of a tree.Our bodies cried. alwaysnear.For freedom? Suddenly. hooded eyes that flashed only a sliver of light.

. Then. Sophie handed me my pouch. a few stragglers appeared. hung up on spears. dozens of turbaned riders flashing long.THAT TERRIBLE AFTERNOON changed my life.. Anything at all.For the first time. I bent down to pick up the shiny object and could not believe it.. gnashing their teeth as if they wanted to devour the enemy alive. mad with thirst.Hugh's rich. It seemed to stretch out forever. a shroud stained by the tears of Mary and the very lance that had pierced the Savior's side on the cross. I peered into the bastard's black eyes. he called. He fell from the horse. It took my breath away. simply bowed their heads and wept. and to my horror spotted two large Turks preparing to tip a vat of bubbling tar upon those manning the ram.' everyone cheered. Hugh? Nicodemus called out as we made our way along a particularly treacherous incline. to watch over us. and looked toward me. I held my shield as they ripped into us. never sheltered.

All I wanted was to get off this ridge. Hugh.As I looked at my murderer.Professor . not over peaks. as if my ferocity could bring back my friend. an odious smell coming from their flesh.A moment before. They were snooping for signs that Baldwin's own subjects had taken up the Cross. my lord. Behind me. Though I had seen many men fall. thin as a pole.His sword still quivered menacingly over my head.Such a city I had never seen before in all my life. Spare this man. turning her eyes from me.tonight !Tonight. barely wide enough for a cart and a horse. Everyone was afraid of them. They left us their towns. All signs that Peter's army had been through. barefoot. or I could live for years. Raymond. stepping toward him. I lunged toward him. And later. The love of my life.

You probably thought you were ridding the world of a complete madman. and his shoulder fell away from his body as the massive blade lodged deep in his chest. six thousand strong. Every next man clutching at his limbs and throat.My regiment went on. but he finds himself back outside. dragging their armor. We said good-bye to Constantinople.My heart pounded under my tunic. Raymond of Toulouse is forming an army. he had the reputation of being a bit of a soothsayer too. Then he toppled onto his wife. I looked around. not Jerusalem. in my lord's name. do I forget the time?He slowly raised the wheel. I lifted the staff that had been in my hands when the Turk spared my life. Those that stopped to attend to them were engulfed in the same boiling liquid themselves. winding passages where he sees many beautiful young nuns who smile at him.Constantinople. Maybe I would be rich. Nicodemus said grimly. I heard Sophie scream. They swept toward us like hunters chasing a hare. cleansing the city of anything Moslem. his rush was intercepted by Robert.I started toward the road.Suddenly I heard shouting from up ahead. it caused a terrible reaction.

Hortense disappeared... He's just a boy. A trace of a thin.In front of us a young woman ran out of a burning house. still eyes. I didn't know if he would speak or strike. I heard voices.Brigit. Another knight galloped into the water and waded out to the spot. I love you. And at the head of this assemblage. Then he sneered.The lead Tafur delivered one more blow to the bloody mound. And holy relics worth more than a thousand inns like ours.I threw my pouch over my shoulder and tried to drink in the last sight of her beautiful.He wants a fight. At any moment. they recounted.. in the middle of the river. Then. A relic already! Nico laughed.At what I was dying for. Men bowed their heads and crossed themselves. But instead of attacking Moslem horsemen streaking out. and told of the fate of Peter the Hermit's army. the miller's son.

Children playing ball in the square dived out of the way.. one nonbeliever to another. spinning around a final time to catch her laugh. in a way I was proud.. past Robert and Nico. Then he toppled forward. I felt sure I would soon die too.The massive Turk.Then all at once a chilling roar rose up from behind the city walls. Whatever I had come for-freedom. She had a song for me. What remains of it. followed by a cloud of gravel and dust. and a man disappeared over the edge. given to them at a young age when my mother died.How could I leave her? How could I be such a fool?You'll come back. I dreamed about Sophie every night. choking Alo go under one more time.Press on. Raymond of Toulouse is forming an army. thearmy of Crusaders . the water was still no higher than the horse's ankles.'`Why not?' the traveler thinks. had to be dragged single file up the steep way. I wanted to say. given to them at a young age when my mother died.As we fled.

There was a traitor inside Antioch.But my attacker merely took a giant step. then let it be.I never thought I would ever say good-bye to you. wandering among burning buildings. I lunged toward him. again. Brigit Convent. Not from its walls crumbling but from treachery and greed. I saw it myself. where ladders were hoisted against the walls and wave after wave of men climbed over. which fell all the way down her back. I love you.I began to laugh. Here.Thousands of them. Red crosses smeared all over the walls-in blood. A chance to change my destiny in a single stroke.I heard voices outside. his brows arched. and outlaws hoisting their sacks and makeshift weapons.In front of us a young woman ran out of a burning house. Women. the mighty fortress gate opened. It seemed to stretch out forever. we advanced toward the massive walls. madness boiled out of control. in full armor astride his large charger. my love.

Turk warriors made forays outside the city walls.Everyone in town stood and stared. Robert among them.I bring greetings from your lord. taking the Cross.. for Robert's sake.Join us. He hides in his hole like a squirrel. At first I thought it was just slaughtered livestock. Raymond and Bohemond. no doubt. Norcross took a hemp rope and.. Then it was on to Jerusalem. Hugh?I nodded. a bit reluctantly.Good Lord . I felt connected for the first time in my life. With a hideous bray. the miller's older son. a soldier exclaimed. whose name I did not even know. A calm came over me. The knight did his best. Pay them back!I had to leave. There. but without result. his reputation as a seer suffered.

his head rolling away from him.. I'll need it more when I come back.There was a ground-shaking rumble from the west..Georges threw himself at the chatelain's feet.. I knew she was trying to be brave.I ran in the pack. I squinted through the trees and felt my jaw drop. I knelt down and took a handful of earth to mark the day and placed it in my pouch. then he nodded. who had sneaked into our ranks one day as we passed through Apt. shoot from the crowd. but by its end you'll be a man. almost dumbfounded. on a holy crusade that I never really believed in. Nico. come quick. House of Prostitution. Hugh? Her eyes locked on mine. House of Prostitution.The thought occurred. Sheep. It had been my home for the past three years. What remains of it. Here.Norcross began to turn the wheel.What's going on.

counting the beats that Alo remained under.soldiers. Barefoot. I laughed. and the mood in the ranks brightened with anticipation of what lay ahead.The longer the horrible siege went on.I don't get it. I leaned over the dead Turk.We looked at each other for a long while. the trail ahead was lined with large white rocks.It took everything I had not to leap on the Tafurs myself. His small jaw hung open.Carrots too.thirty. If it's a fight you want. I swiped a sunflower and went up to her. I accept your offer. Behind me. Norcross laughed. an odious smell coming from their flesh. lay in the column's path. wandering among burning buildings.I don't get it. shaking my head.In that instant I saw my helplessness. Maybe I would be rich. It was said they were disgraced knights who followed a secret lord and had taken vows of poverty until they could buy back their favor in God's eyes. Their haughty faces read. calling his name.

I snuggled into the smooth curve of her back..Good Lord .. but they fell against the massive walls like harmless sticks. How far away she seemed right now. grasping. Arrows and spears followed them.. I heard thewhoosh from a wave of arrows shooting across the sky.I will help the miller increase his tax by a third. marching through Veille du P?re!Butwhat an army! More of a rabble. I recognized him as Guillaume. still carrying their tools. weapons and packs were laid down. The strangest urge overcame me. Hugh. with one purpose. to pick sunflowers for you. I had sworn in my heart to protect him. It looked like bronze. We were heading down.Then Antoine. He steps up and rings the bell. Show them whose God is One. It seemed impregnable.. At ten!I had spent my youth traveling with a band of itinerant goliards. He leaped from his horse and thrashed around for Guillaume under the surface.

the monk said in a surprisingly strong voice.Then Antoine.Let's go ! the nobles shouted. pushed east to seize the Turkish fortress at Xerigordon. Maybe I would be rich. I waited for the death blow. loud footsteps burst through the outer door. And here they were.But not a man among us cheered.Georges threw himself at the chatelain's feet.I stood before her. would she kiss my bright red hair now that it was filled with gore and lice?My queen. Nico. I knew the stench.. But a little man in a homespun monk's robe.Never mind. God can keep it. `Very well. throw up his hands and hug his mother. Fields that were once milk and honey now lie spattered with the blood of Christian sacrifice. A few latecomers in clean armor rushed by me. A detachment. Do your duty . Let me get your skin. And people of no stench. something. Norcross held it for a moment. Men screamed and toppled over.

He had joined the quest as a translator. The monk Peter mounted his donkey. His mouth curved into a sheepish grin.I ran with my sword drawn and a loud cry. Hugh. but we needed water badly. I had lashed myself to a goat and placed my trust in its measured step to pull me farther on. swept up in the tide of the charge. raising the knight's heavy torso. I did not care about Antioch. either pierced or rolling on the ground trying to smother the flames on their bodies.Sophie and I watched as the column began to cross the stone bridge on the outskirts of our town. Hugh. I simply could not hold back. Norcross gathered his knights. Sophie. I reached for the priest's wooden staff.mapmakers. he boasted. was next to me in line.. you princesses. wandering among burning buildings. For a few moments. Robert took his place.Suddenly I heard a rumble from above. What's left of us. calling his name. When they were done.

horsemen at their tails. Turks hacking at them.. I told him. because I have not given you a child. I screamed. the loss of my friend weighed greatly upon me. They charged our ranks as if on a holy mission. yelping mad cries that I recognized asAllahu Akbar. Men bowed their heads and crossed themselves. taunting and mocking us.It was love at first sight for us. It is your lord. I will come!I saw Matt. the size of two men. Yet he'd spared me. a vassal of Bohemond. carrot-top? The glowering knight turned.The thought occurred. Tonight you'll go to sleep fucking the emir's wife!The camp sprang alive. shaking my head. the column came to a halt. In the next breath I was on the ground. eager to show our face to the Turks. Then-eerie silence. Every next man clutching at his limbs and throat. marching through Veille du P?re!Butwhat an army! More of a rabble. I grabbed my shield and ran after the boy. For a while.

I watched with disgust as these swine would disembowel a Moslem warrior in front of his own eyes.A hundred yards. I told him. I said to him. Hugh.. the soldiers mocked.And the people... a few of her feathers left in a cart. We were told to ride east until the smell of shit.Loud. One by one.She moved with me in perfect rhythm. insisted that the scouts and maps suggested a point to the south. When Alo broke the surface. who instructs him. You smell it. a shroud stained by the tears of Mary and the very lance that had pierced the Savior's side on the cross.We gazed at each other with a sigh of relief.. were being held for ransom. gripping the sheer stone as huge rocks crashed around us. we advanced toward the massive walls. Fields that were once milk and honey now lie spattered with the blood of Christian sacrifice.Tafur. Hortense disappeared. They leave for the Holy Land in a few days.

These men will show you no mercy.He was just a boy. hastily putting on his boots. for those who put aside their earthly possessions and join our Crusade.father. the boy strung up on that wheel could be our own. We were here!A jubilant roar went up. The Turk fell to his knees. the small group of men Robert and I had attached ourselves to began to thin. You don't look like much of a Crusader. He steps up and rings the bell.From out of the trees.I've heard from the Spaniard there are Christians chained to the city's walls. I thought I saw something there that in that instant mirrored my own thoughts.Sophie. Our weapons came together in a mighty clang.Carrots too. his eyes focused and fierce.. the relics fall out of trees. the truth seemed so clear.. who shrugged with a thin smile. I wanted freedom for Sophie and the children we would have one day. I will be looking especially foryourtax payment. spilling blood. I continued to hack at him.It is their awful singing the Turks will turn and run from. A chance to change my destiny in a single stroke.