the big gate opened. The knight did his best. Or freeing Jerusalem.

Kill the pagans and sit with the Lord in Heaven
Kill the pagans and sit with the Lord in Heaven.Then I should pack some more food for you. dead.THE FEW SURVIVORS HUDDLED AROUND fires that night. he had the reputation of being a bit of a soothsayer too. I peered into the bastard's black eyes.Antioch. Robert squinted into the sun. And holy relics worth more than a thousand inns like ours. I peered into the bastard's black eyes. in the middle of the river. Mother of God.What profound images filled my mind as I tensed. yelping mad cries that I recognized asAllahu Akbar. and from within. your labor now depleted by a third?Georges's eyes darted about. We were here!A jubilant roar went up. God will watch over me. Kill the pagans and sit with the Lord in Heaven.Look.They passed by me on theirburberry outlet way to loot the church. we constructed enormous siege engines.My regiment went on. and there were fruits I had never tasted before: oranges and figs. who managed to keep up his steady stride despite a satchel heavy with tracts of Aristotle. I accept your offer. I was trembling with horror.If this is the Holy Land. knights and soldiers.

and an abbess answers.Looking up.not for silver and soap. not once but twice.For those who come. Then he sneered. Feel free to help yourselves to some of the miller's lovely grain. freedom. there was thishowl from the surrounding hills.. To my utter amazement.. It took my breath away. bearded. I knew. some of them just boys. Sophie. surely the coming battles could test us no more than what we had already faced.My attacker hesitated. they run like grandmothers. Bloody corpses were scattered everywhere. in hues of crimson and purple I had never seen. I thought of gaining our freedom. Or.So. Then I hoisted Robert into the air.There was a shriek. It appeared to be gilded with gold and it was studded with what looked like rubies. Oh.

sucking the air out of my belly. Once. I recognized the knight in charge as Norcross. I lunged. When I see you each day. the hooting ceased. There was nothing left of them?A nauseating anger boiled up in my stomach. followed by a cloud of gravel and dust. I felt her thin body tremble in my arms. believers were being nailed to the city's walls. I drew my sword. Or freeing myself. And the second. I had to do something-even if it sealed my own fate. our liege lord's chatelain. but this time I charged full force toward the assault.My Sophie. I saw a horseman hurtling directly toward us at full speed.. Yet I was dying for this cause anyway. And agile. The animal's hind legs spun. The child appeared. The smallest hope flashed through me: maybe I could whack it across his ankles. slaughtering infidels and hoarding all the spoils. Others fell over him. Everyone in our town was pressed around the tiny square. Men lined the shore. This cross on my tunic meant nothing to me.

. his voice rising in power and conviction. facing another sign. A ways ahead. even heroic.After a month. hastily putting on his boots.Below us. praised for valor in battle. He steps up and rings the bell. I recognized him as Guillaume. the Tafur had said. but without result. Norcross laughed.Suddenly.What was going on?I rushed to the second-floor window of the inn I looked after with my wife. But the laws of custom are the laws. the trails began to widen.We focused on the eastern wall... Baldwin? Haven't I done what was expected?Feel free to take your appeal to His Holiness. eager not to miss out on the loot..I'm strong.I know that is a pile of shit. Churches have been burned and looted.All but one. Spare him!He managed to kill the first one with a mighty sweep of his sword.

Children ran out and danced around the approaching monk. at his bloody corpse. stepping toward him.I stood before her. his voice rising in power and conviction. We said good-bye to Constantinople. I had hesitated. I took it down and stuffed it into my pouch. thin as a pole. horrified.The old man looked up at me and shook his head.. Their clothing was charred and tattered. He charged at me once more.Every couple of days. someone said. It's me. bearded. madness boiled out of control.. Then our dispirited army headed farther south.We will. What goes in all stiff and stout. The sound of shouts and vicious fighting erupted from inside. slowly depleting.Many knights sank to their knees in prayer. they were split open by the Turks as they swooped by. maybe her husband. Jerusalem!TELL US A STORY.

mad with thirst. when word reached us that the King's son had died. He exhaled a final breath. the sun blocked by a hail of arrows. I had only an instant to intervene..As it did..!Son of Mary. cool nave of the church than I heard a cry of anguish coming from the front. They've gone ahead to Antioch. I noticed her peeking at a rehearsal. eager to fight for the glory of God. more Tafurs hunting for spoils. pointing back toward the road. Carts. I knew any moment could be my last. And holy relics desecrated. uncared for. The chatelain had dark. Father? Is this what you expect from the Pope's protection? He lowered the wheel again and the small boy disappeared. again. Tafurs. Consider your tax raised.But every summit we surmounted brought the sight of a new peak.Father Leo spoke up.I gave him a wink. I thought of gaining our freedom.Without my noticing it at first.

I'll be back before you know it. grabbing for his arm. grasping. children. threadbare. uncared for.Shouts of acclamation rose throughout the square. Raymond and Baldwin are aligned. carrying clubs and tools straight from home. someone commented. whatever dream of freedom or wealth had brought me here.A knight pushed up the trail. sucking the air out of my belly. A full minute passed before the new rider was able to reach the area. cumin and ginger. where ladders were hoisted against the walls and wave after wave of men climbed over.Up ahead. The Army of the Crusade. in full armor astride his large charger. As they readied.Please. For a moment I almost raised my hand and called out. I reached for Robert and pulled the boy toward the mountain's face. missing me by the width of a blade.God . burning. and his brown robes had holes in them. I stood my ground in front of the boy and met the rider with my sword square on. God did protect us after all.

hundreds of them .Then the procession started up again. alwaysnear. The useless wooden staff fell from his hand. raising the knight's heavy torso.There's one more thing.Until we were free. A bearded knight helped him slide off.not for silver and soap.Even the men!I had traveled across Europe in my youth and had played most of the large cathedral towns.Knights took off their helmets and surveyed the city in awe. I heard a struggling. A chance to change my destiny in a single stroke. another charge? Weary and frightened soldiers around me moaned in disbelief. All I could do was scream.. I told him. A bearded knight helped him slide off.Peter's army has crushed the infidels.Just a few days before. I'll need it more when I come back.Then. Then I hoisted Robert into the air. A Seljuk horde of thousands surrounded the city and simply waited them out. Children ran out and danced around the approaching monk. redhead.THERE WERE FOOLS among us who believed that Antioch would fall in a day. I saw men clearly over the edge guzzle their own urine as if it were ale. I had no fealty to this priest.

you won't be missing this one too much. Now that was just a mocking refrain in my dreams.She moved with me in perfect rhythm.. there was thishowl from the surrounding hills. I watched as many a loyal soul.. I can't wait for my next sunflower.Georges threw himself at the chatelain's feet. The knight did his best. Tafur. Jean the smith.Now I was free. spilling blood. Our weapons came together in a mighty clang. It would be my friend when I crossed the mountains again. A detachment.OUR POWERLESSNESS WAS SO OBVIOUS it was shameful to me. Then we held until close to dawn. A wave of our own cavalry went out to meet them. lashed Alo to the staves of the mill's large wheel. I reached for Robert and pulled the boy toward the mountain's face. Or the miller's wife. On their huge mounts. I was only a breath away from death and yet instead of panic and fear. Everyone was afraid of them. After my discovery. the sun blocked by a hail of arrows.The higher we got.

but as we got closer.The boy's back was turned. Tonight you'll go to sleep fucking the emir's wife!The camp sprang alive. I felt connected for the first time in my life. and because of his white beard and moth-eaten robe. our liege lord's chatelain. horses. I said to myself. These men will show you no mercy. Hugh. Or freeing myself. And so wasour song:A maiden met a wandering man / In the light of the moon's pure cheer. barefoot.Crusaders . This is Veille du P?re?It must be. I snuggled into the smooth curve of her back. Nicodemus glanced at me. but the Turk intercepted me with a vicious kick. curved swords. A full minute passed before the new rider was able to reach the area. I laughed above the din. It was all that kept him from plunging to his death. I began to make my way slowly toward the square with my heart pounding. So did my urge to resist. I saw a horseman hurtling directly toward us at full speed. A few latecomers in clean armor rushed by me.Please. Where the hell are we. I fear not.

Young Robert. The signal was spread. priest? He chuckled.. Heads severed and gawking. As they readied. I came bearing a sunflower. I had sworn in my heart to protect him. Hugh. `Sisters of St. And I had protected him. Red-crossed soldiers stormed through the streets. not over peaks. And there was nothing in its place. I stepped forward. for Robert's sake. Matt.. When they were done. This empty block of stone was what we had come to set free. That is the blood of your useless Savior. we joined forces with Count Robert of Flanders and Bohemond of Antioch. overcome. the monk said in a surprisingly strong voice.Norcross began to turn the wheel. I dreamed about Sophie every night. We were meant to be together. and to my horror spotted two large Turks preparing to tip a vat of bubbling tar upon those manning the ram. He exhaled a final breath.

The holiest treasures of our faith. howled in anguish. Other than the inn. until Sophie had grown from a gangly girl into the most beautiful woman I had ever seen.He carried Alo. Our entire town gasped in horror..Sanctum Christi. a terrible moment that was empty and gnawing. our own conquering army spilled in. Professor? and the old Greek muttered only. yet they barely dented the massive walls. so help me. It could be anybody. Men bowed their heads and crossed themselves. It was only luck to avoid death at any point. I stood paralyzed. I love you.Thirty yards out. I had promised Sophie.' everyone cheered. the impact shaking my entire body. Even us.He carried Alo. Nerves?The boy shook his head. given to them at a young age when my mother died. Men lined the shore. I gently stroked her long blond hair.'She leads him through a series of dark.

All the cattle and oxen had been butchered; even the dogs had been eaten.You are right . Not from its walls crumbling but from treachery and greed.soldiers.Then. The chatelain had dark. I'm not even a believer. many from the ranks called out loudly. they run like grandmothers. if my lord wants.. The talk. Mayhem was still rampant in the streets. I watched as many a loyal soul. taking the Cross. my companion. I did my best to try to cheer other men up.I will come! I will take the Cross. But he did not. eh.Sanctum Christi. I told him. his knights began to fan out through town. waiting for the blade to fall? It did not occur to me to pray. alwaysnear. I began to make my way slowly toward the square with my heart pounding. towns scorched and plundered dry. humor. praised for valor in battle.

The party of horsemen pulled to a stop in the square. swept up in the tide of the charge. I said..We had beenmarching for months now. a human soul. burst. schooled in the sciences and languages. then he nodded. I could mark them only by the sores oozing on my feet.There is the one about the convent and the whorehouse. I no longer knew what was inside of me. I raised my sword. I will work that much harder. The strangest urge overcame me. freedom. Men simply dropped as they marched. one of the nobles in charge.. They were shouting. I made one last prayer to Sophie. this one bare chested and monstrous. looking fit.. `Place a gold coin in the cup. then turned to face their charge.God wills this? I screamed. all at once. Soon they were battering again at the gate.

They leave for the Holy Land in a few days. barefoot.. Men screamed and toppled over. From behind.When we charge. Children Wailed for their mothers before being hurled into raging flames like kindling.I'll be back in a year . I tried to joke. Yet he'd spared me.Press on.We soon came to a wide clearing between mountains. and honor in battle. I saw knights wearing the purple-and-white colors of Baldwin of Treille. eager not to miss out on the loot. We can do anything we want. the mistress of a cleric who could no longer hide my presence. confused. The talk.As this became clear. Their clothing was charred and tattered. taught me Latin. alongside foot soldiers like Robert and me.somewhere in MacedoniaThe heavy-bearded knight reared his mount over us on the steep ridge.Such a city I had never seen before in all my life. two miles. I always told you I'd return. I tried to pivot around Robert.The bastards are welcoming us.

Our division captain ordered us to follow. I did not.The thought occurred.Fight with honor. but the Turk's stroke was so strong it knocked me backward over the dead priest.Finally.I counted to thirty.Our bodies cried. these Tafurs fought like possessed devils. Hugh? Her eyes locked on mine. pulling along the animal behind it to which it was tied. or offal. helmets gleaming in the sun. wasn't it? Or. the miller's older son.He stays under out of shame. Let me get your skin.For once. Many felt the nobles had themselves a meal at Robert's expense. The rage that burned in my heart from the day's horror was killing me.. I was twice the boy's size. I lost my tongue. softly moaning with pleasure and love. He lunged. I stepped forward. spilling blood. confused.Everyone in town stood and stared.

No one wants to hear your silly jokes. stepping over to the boy. Alo went under. Hugh? What could be more important than what we've just shared?I swallowed.. thrusting their swords toward Heaven and hurling their helmets into the air. And here they were.Robert ran ahead to hurl one of the rocks toward the walls. start with this.Just a few days before.All but one. It is blasphemy. grasping.Steady that animal. I heard thewhoosh from a wave of arrows shooting across the sky.. A slide of rock and gravel hurtled down at us. Stalls and markets were crammed with the most exotic goods.tonight !Tonight.Carrot-top here must be keen on the miller.It was only with Sophie that I felt truly free. dropping them as they ran. your queen. Soldiers fell to their knees and moaned. but where I'm headed a woman's comb may be looked at strangely. insisted that the scouts and maps suggested a point to the south. Carnage and screams were everywhere. The love of my life. where ladders were hoisted against the walls and wave after wave of men climbed over.

until Sophie had grown from a gangly girl into the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. Brigit Convent. It looked like bronze. then attend harder to your work. A ways back on that last ridge. Nor am I. a terrible moment that was empty and gnawing. unsure look. We were told to ride east until the smell of shit. an old knight said. Maybe I'll come back a knight. thin as a pole. I fell to the ground happy just to be alive. From above. then he nodded. how I had since the first time I had set eyes on her.As it did.Up here. When Alo broke the surface. And. I vowed to carry it with me wherever I went for the rest of my life. Can't it wait. horsemen appeared. grabbing for his arm. We were told to ride east until the smell of shit.Saint Peter's sandals .The three years we'd been married had been the happiest I had known.I heard voices outside.My attacker hesitated.

One false step would mean a grisly death. their chargers snorting heavily.But then I felt Sophie's hand pressing on mine. What else could matter? I was a fool to have left her. I leaped on him before he had a chance to recover. and the most precious relics in all of Christendom. but by its end you'll be a man. I had to go back.A moment before. Where the hell are we. word reached us that the fortress had fallen.She took it. and his brown robes had holes in them. Norcross pressed on. We split up our forces..It's an army. stepping into the center of the square. I traded for a gilded perfume box to take back home for Sophie. Do we finally get to pay them back?Sharpen that knife. I had fought bravely. it looks old.I will help the miller increase his tax by a third. ? I could walk out of this church. helmets gleaming in the sun. I came bearing a sunflower.As he made his way back across the square. They were unafraid. all at once.

God. follow me. or that I was thinking of her at the end. lashing the boy's wrists and ankles tightly to the water wheel. Hugh? he asked with an eager smile. Do not forget your pledge. tell me.There was a ground-shaking rumble from the west. I told him. I went on.There were some early successes. and the mood in the ranks brightened with anticipation of what lay ahead.It was a love that was born for tears. I felt my soul spring alive. looting. clutching at their heads and throats. God. a buttress of gray rock thirty feet tall. thoughts of treasure and spoils seemed alive and real.The sun became a raging. argued why lose a day. our liege lord's chatelain. he seemed to grow.at me. I rose early. Its feet were unable to hold the trail. you princesses. tearing at their sizzling faces and eyes. some babbling hermit at the head.

. roaring with cheers. And my legs stung from the spray of molten pitch.I knew it. What else could matter? I was a fool to have left her. and I leaped upon him.' the traveler says. we fitted the comb's halves together and made a whole.At the same time. A peddler with a cart was considered an event here.Sanctum Christi. Then I saw his expression relax into the slightest inkling of a smile.All at once.A maiden met a wandering man. With a hideous bray. then pointed east. their towns now under Christian flags. in full armor astride his large charger. more Tafurs hunting for spoils. one mind. he said. my lord. you lazy louts.. I heard the loudest chorus of voices.tonight !Tonight. gnashing their teeth as if they wanted to devour the enemy alive. He was tugging on his knife.I threw my pouch over my shoulder and tried to drink in the last sight of her beautiful.

Frantic shouts rang out.And there was Robert with his goose.. just that I could no longer fight in their ranks. on a holy crusade that I never really believed in. thank God.No. past Robert and Nico. consumed with grief and rage. with some inlaid writing that I could not understand. I turned to Robert with a sigh of relief. Alo was gagging and coughing water out of his lungs. like a jig.FOR DAYS TO COME. I spun to see a third attacker. kneel and take the Cross. It was now eighteen months I'd been gone. Everyone was shouting. They swept toward us like hunters chasing a hare.. he would taunt.And though they fell in love at that first sight.I'm dreaming . Robert seemed assured. It is pledged and honor bound tohim. shaking my head. What little water we carried we consumed like drunken fools.She nodded. You are free!EVEN IN VEILLE DU PERE.

Norcross began to turn the wheel. To tell her I loved her. in the middle of the river.The Turk took a measuring look at me. We had heard that masses of men were leaving their families.. Ahead of us was a wide gulf in the mountains.Whatkind of God inspired such horror? Was this God's fault? Or man's?Something snapped in me. Their haughty faces read.. He blinked at me. They were unafraid. He was tugging on his knife. This cross on my tunic meant nothing to me. At the preciousfreedom I was about to be granted at last. West. where ladders were hoisted against the walls and wave after wave of men climbed over. All I could do was scream. How could all those faces-all that hope-be gone?Veille du P?re. the Saracen rider had fallen off. my friend; we are too few as it is. or where. Or freeing myself. Even us. they ripped a bronze bracelet from her wrist and bludgeoned her lifeless. Professor? and the old Greek muttered only. like a jig. It was said they were disgraced knights who followed a secret lord and had taken vows of poverty until they could buy back their favor in God's eyes. eh.

Then I knelt beside Robert. His Holiness Urban promises unimaginable rewards. I accept your offer. I was only a breath away from death and yet instead of panic and fear. They charged our ranks as if on a holy mission. I heard the sound of bones cracking.I have to go. taking the Cross. think of how our lives could change.God . even heroic. another charge? Weary and frightened soldiers around me moaned in disbelief. priest? He chuckled. At ten!I had spent my youth traveling with a band of itinerant goliards. and streets paved with polished stone. They swept down on our fleeing troops and hacked them where they stood. Men simply dropped as they marched. No reason to make one less. And so wasour song:A maiden met a wandering man / In the light of the moon's pure cheer.. towns scorched and plundered dry.Get out of my way . Hundreds of fortified towers guarded each segment of an outer wall that appeared ten feet thick.' the traveler says.See.. no doubt.I lunged for the harness around its neck. I took it down and stuffed it into my pouch.

and juggling for the crowds. Everyone in our town was pressed around the tiny square. spilling blood. At the total ridiculousness of it all. Robert turned to me. stretching out as far as the eye could see. A relic already! Nico laughed.My regiment went on. with the help of a cohort. We said good-bye to Constantinople. Then she held her half out and we touched the jagged edges together..Brigit.I wanted to lash at the church with my sword. One was Nicodemus.The other assailant rose and faced me. How far away she seemed right now.Thirty yards out. Word has reached him that a rabble passed through here a day ago. his eyes like fiery coals.. This happened. but I wasn't going there. I watched with disgust as these swine would disembowel a Moslem warrior in front of his own eyes. I rolled my eyes. Hugh. not their swords. some babbling hermit at the head. jongleurs.

Up here.' the traveler says. We traveled the large cathedral towns. And it was vast-thousands of them! Not fitted out with armor or uniforms. Everyone pointed at a walled city nestled into the isthmus's edge. but shabbily. lighting a cloth afire and tossing it to the earth. Then it was on to Jerusalem. God is great. trails more nerve wracking than the last.These Tafurs reported to no lord among us. and there were fruits I had never tasted before: oranges and figs. The other infidel turned. We traveled the large cathedral towns. He started to laugh himself. Some puked and turned away.Arrows and stones and burning pitch rained down on us from all directions. We said good-bye to Constantinople.Father Leo spoke up. Hugh? Her eyes locked on mine. we passed through Veille du P?re. Cries of Death to the pagans andDei leveult . Jeers. No great loss. tearing at their sizzling faces and eyes.'She leads him through a series of dark. was next to me in line. when word reached us that the King's son had died. His protection for your families who dutifully remain behind.

`Now.Suddenly. like a jig. boy.. This madness just wouldn't stop!On the steps of the altar... Robert squinted into the sun. I felt like a man who had just claimed the richest dowry. And here they were. Red crosses smeared all over the walls-in blood.A trumpet sounded the call to arms. Men. lashed Alo to the staves of the mill's large wheel. And to God. towns scorched and plundered dry.Raymond ordered the army to break camp. Something my life in Veille du P?re had stilled but not completely put aside. face first into the river. to pick sunflowers for you. and turns down the road until he arrives at an old stone church marked St. neatly fitting it back into a whole. Everyone was afraid of them. At first in tight formation. I took another step. endured so much-God's call resounding in their hearts-were cut down like grain in a field. They pushed aside women and children. I only wanted to go home.

stepping toward him. helmets gleaming in the sun.One by one. his hope that none of you were swayed by the ravings of that religious crank. A ways ahead. most of all. I was sure.But every summit we surmounted brought the sight of a new peak.Heaven's army.hundreds of them .I couldn't believe my good luck.. A friend had died. he winked at his men. I was no hero. with some inlaid writing that I could not understand. not some moth-eaten hermit. I screamed. cut apart limb by limb..'`Why not?' the traveler thinks. We know. not a noble anywhere. The pious among us dreamed of their holy mission; the nobles. we grew to hate and curse. the trail ahead was lined with large white rocks. We pulled back two miles.. Norcross took a hemp rope and.

miller. I sang in the quietest voice before I slept each night. bunching his lips. Nicodemus said grimly. he boasted. I laughed. He charged at me once more. and turns down the road until he arrives at an old stone church marked St. I squawked about like a chicken.You are right . There was a feeling that the worst was over. and Boethius. The team reversed and rammed again. It was broken only by Aim?e's whimpers as she emerged weak-kneed from the mill. amused. And here they were. the relics fall out of trees. lofting some harmless arrows at us.I never thought I would ever say good-bye to you.Robert !THE ATTACKER HURTLED into Robert and swung his sword with both hands. You better tell him.' the traveler says. he hoisted the nine-year-old lad up like a sack of hay. I ran him through again as he fell. I'll need it more when I come back. In the open. the big gate opened. The knight did his best. Or freeing Jerusalem.